Survival with love, Survival for love ♥

♥

In the rains… under the sun

my feelings for You keep firing my life like a gun,

my heart seems hollow; by each passing day a deep scar remains.

There isn’t a bullet then from where it really came?

I know I love You but nothing has yet started,

why is then my life synonymous to paradoxes and dilemmas,

when its just You who I have wanted?

Tell him, show him, that you are the one,

who has been caring all this while,

for all his joys and all his smiles.

And you are the reason for which God has been bestowing love, mercy and happiness upon him.

It’s the power of your love that has got him his wishes granted, a better life than before,

that is what my friends expect me to tell him,

but on grounds of selfless love, I resist…

though a beautiful future is what all I have wished for.

But nobody can risk the kind of friendship we have nurtured,

Although my heart does love You, so much, from the core.

Now, I hate being blessed,

for now You have the clue and I have no choice left.

For even You want to know what that little heart contains,

I’m just holding on; deep inside, each one is beating for You, and I too take the blame.

I made You actually realize that I hope of being with You,

the bond never weakened, maybe grew even fonder too.

I indirectly meant my words and You caught it,

your heart and the mind witnessed a war in reaction,

and You fought it.

You made your assumptions, You made your conclusions,

actually they wont ever need a mending,

but I can’t tell You what you’ve always wanted to know,

I did promise for it cunningly,

and I know it is still pending!!

Apart from words, there would be something by my side.

What it feels like,

when in a contact list of two hundred, only one is visible, even bolder,

when your thoughts creep in and then collide…

I look upto the moon and remember You, my world is getting colder.

♥

Inside there is just a wanting,

to stay with the feeling for the time being,

living a beautiful dream of what the time shall bring.

And I survive these thoughts with love, like pillow-fights,

Each cushion plays a role, while we want to hold some tight.

We hit some back and need some back too…

How can then we say to someone that we love them just ‘cause they deserve it?

How untrue!!

No destination of this haunting feeling seems near, neither of my heart,

empty world, always ready for a new journey to start.

Give me a reason, or give me a promise too.

Of being together in whatever way You want to do.

 No destination of this haunting feeling seems near, neither of my heart,

nor of the heartbeat this time.

Its been too long a survival, and it shall always be…

A survival; to be with You,

a survival to get You through,

a survival of the ‘me’; with You; for You.